HOW TO DEAL WITH INDECISION

We make decisions every day,  but there are times when the process can become overwhelming and we get stymied, caught between conflicting choices none of which seem to be the obvious way out of the impasse.

What to do if you are stuck in this hell of indecision?

Method One

My Dad always favoured this way: write out on a piece of paper the pros and cons for each of the options, then choose the one with the fewest cons. Simple, and a good way to get an overview of the different ways to go. However, in practice it’s hard to do this objectively and your own biases can easily skew things.

Method Two

Be like the hero in Luke Rhinehart’s novel “The Dice Man” - just assign choices to numbers 1 to 6 and roll the dice, then rigorously stick to the outcome with no looking back. Drastic, and obviously not good for really important decisions, but a method nonetheless.

Method Three

Decide by not deciding. This isn’t a good method at all, but it’s one often chosen by those with chronic indecision. In the short term it gets you off the hook and releases you from the stressful hell of having to decide, but in the long run it just makes things worse. By not deciding you are letting outside forces decide for you, which isn’t good at all, and doesn’t address the basic problem.

So what is the basic problem? Why are some people so prone to indecisiveness?

From my own experiences, it boils down to one thing : a lack of self-belief. It isn’t the various options themselves, it’s the fact that you doubt your ability to make the right choice. 

The solution to this is in the details of the first two methods for resolution above. I criticised Method One because often we are subconsciously more disposed to one of the options which can skew our analysis. The solution is right there - go for the one that you have a gut feeling for! The reason indecisive people don’t do this is because they are afraid to commit and potentially make a mistake. 

In reality, in almost all situations with multiple options where there is no one obvious choice, it actually doesn’t matter much which option you choose. They all have pros and cons, and most likely which ever one you take will work out just as well as any other. It’s usually not as crucial as you think.

The important thing is to just choose something! Here we need to apply the rules of The Dice Man - if there are several options, none of which are perfect, just choose anything and then stick to that decision with no regrets. 

And this is the other key point : once you’ve decided, forget about the whole thing! There’s a tendency among indecisive people to be constantly changing their opinion, including after making a choice. They begin to doubt themselves, then keep going over the arguments again and again just to make sure, sometimes even completely backtracking and trying to undo the choice. Don’t do this! Once the decision has been made, just leave it. There’s absolutely no point in going over it again.

The other crucial thing to do is to dispense with regrets. Accept the fact that we all sometimes make the wrong choice - we are not perfect, after all. Looking back and constantly regretting your decisions will just make you even more indecisive, since it will erode your self-belief and you will not trust in your ability to choose in the future, thereby perpetuating the vicious cycle.

To avoid regrets, think of it this way: every time you make a choice, you do so by analysing the data and making the best decision you can, given the circumstances. So, there’s no point in blaming yourself if things don’t turn out well. You did your best at the time, and that’s all a person can do. I mean, nobody goes into the process thinking “I know, let’s completely screw this up by choosing this totally stupid option.” So give yourself a break.

To summarise:

In any decision, even if there’s no obvious best option, you’ll most likely have a hunch that one is slightly better than the others. Go with that one. If all options seem equal in terms of pros and cons, just pick any one, it will probably work out fine. The key thing is, just make a decision, thereby taking control and not letting outside forces dictate your life. Then, forget the whole business - fully commit to that choice no matter what, with no later analyses or doubts.