A CONFESSION AND A RANT
There’s something I have to admit regarding my Big Reads (Update #3) post from earlier in the week: I used ChatGPT to write part of it. Yes, yes, I know, it’s an awful crime, but I have my reasons, which I will set forth shortly.
Meanwhile, go back and read that post and see if you can spot which parargraphs were AI generated - there’s only two, and even those I changed and expanded somewhat. Nevertheless, I think it’s quite obvious which ones we’re talking about, because of the difference in style.
I did it for two main reasons.
First, because of Squarespace, who host this website. Squarespace, like so many big faceless companies these days are all about maximising profit and providing as little service as they can get away with in return.
Indulge me with a brief rant about this company. Last year I started getting a flurry of unsolicited emails about them, touting the amazing new features of the 7.1 version of their platform. Some of these new features were about commerce, which got me thinking, why don’t I sell a few t-shirts and mugs on my site with my photos on, or my band’s artwork? You know, like everybody else is doing. I tried to set up a store page, but after a lot of hassle I discovered that I’m actually not allowed to sell anything. For that privilege I must upgrade my $120 a year subscription to one of the more expensive ones. Of course!
Then I started reading about all of the other cool new tools available in 7.1 and wondering where they were hiding. Strange - not a single one of these features that Squarespace were obviously so proud of appeared to be available to me. Why?
Oh, I see. I’m on version 7.0 still - it didn’t automatically update. OK, so let’s update to 7.1. How do we do that? The Squarespace FAQ page seems strangely silent on this matter. Why?
Oh, got it! You have to PAY to upgrade! Of course!
No concession to existing customers of long standing - my $120 per year becomes $196 if I want 7.1. And if I want to sell my merchandise form my website, well, let’s bump that up to $276 a year!
OK, so imagine I did actually want to shell out and upgrade. My website would just be smoothly updated to 7.1 and the all the new editing features would be at my fingertips, right?
Nope. I would have to rebuild the site from scratch. There is no easy conversion.
So, in effect, Squarespace are just looking to attract new customers who will pay the increased fees from the start, and don’t give a shit about their existing customers. They probably think most people will change over in time, when they stop supporting the old version and they are forced into it.
Typical behavior of big companies these days, don’t you think?
Anyway, I’m not upgrading. I’m not even happy with the current version of their platform, either - it’s a messy, counter-intuitive piece of crap with some basic functionality missing, in my opinion.
And with that I can end my rant and get back to my confession about ChatGPT, because Squarespace’s deficiencies are the prime cause of its deployment.
I’d actually written a whole review of Ann Radcliffe’s “The Mysteries of Udolpho” in Squarespace’s blog editor, all finished, all ready to be published except for it was missing a picture of the novel. I imported the JPEG, and then tried to reposition it so that the text wrapped around it. Normally this works fine, but on this occasion, something went wrong and my words were reduced to a bizarre single column of letters down the right-hand side of the page.
No problem, I thought. Let’s just undo it, and we’ll try again. I looked around for the undo button on the GUI, but inexplicably, there isn’t one. You’d think a blog editor might have that, right? OK, so I can just use the Mac’s undo command and all will be well, right? Nope, it doesn’t work. It has no effect on Squarespace’s wonderfully designed software.
I tried to go back to a saved version of the blog post, but after a flurry of confusing windows, all trace of the post was gone.
All that work for nothing.
And so, the next day I suddenly thought I could kill two birds with one stone - give this ChatGPT thing everyone’s talking about a test and if any good, chuck the results into a new attempt at the book review.
My command to ChatGPT was simple: I just asked it to write a review of Ann Radcliffe’s “The Mysteries of Udolpho” without giving away key elements of the plot. In a surprisingly short space of time it produced a fairly decent review of four or five paragraphs. Well-written, factually correct, but a little generic and bland in style. Still, it was impressive.
I knew I couldn’t use most of it, and didn’t want to, so I just adapted a little bit of it. After all, it couldn’t reproduce my style, whatever that is. The nuances just aren’t there.
Which brings me to another idea. What would happen if I asked it to write a one paragraph review employing sarcasm?
Let’s give a go!
Holy Crap, the results are really impressive:
“Oh, what a delightful and not at all tedious novel is Ann Radcliffe’s ‘The Mysteries of Udolpho’! One can’t help but relish in the endless descriptions of the same old scenery and the protagonist’s constant fainting spells. And let’s not forget the riveting plot, which revolves around Emily St. Aubert wandering aimlessly around the castle, encountering various suspicious characters, and fainting yet again. Truly, it’s a masterpiece of repetitive and predictable storytelling, perfect for those who enjoy feeling like they’re trapped in a never-ending nightmare of Gothic clichés.”
And so, to conclude this post: ChatGPT does comedy better than it does serious and Squarespace sucks.